


Toilet Roll

by expired



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack, i don't know what happened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-25
Updated: 2014-06-25
Packaged: 2018-02-06 05:52:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1846813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/expired/pseuds/expired
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Courfeyrac needs help building a wardrobe and Courfeyrac's and Grantaire's secret is out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Toilet Roll

Grantaire and Courfeyrac had a really good system going. Every time one of their friends had a party or a gathering of some sort one of them would bring a bag - Grantaire brought his leather satchel that held his usual art supplies, Courfeyrac brought a plain messenger bag that he carried often enough for it not to look suspicious. Then they would go to the bathroom and simply place a roll or two of toilet paper in the bags.

They had only bought a pack of toilet roll once while they lived together and now they had a closet that was meant for linen containing several dozen rolls. Their friends had gatherings a lot.

Their apartment wasn't used often for parties or movie nights, mainly because the apartment wasn't able to hold over 6 people in one room. This suited them fine, no one would happen to accidentally wander into the linen closet instead of the bathroom.

None of their friends knew anything about this, then one day Courfeyrac decided to buy a dreaded IKEA wardrobe for his room. All of their friends decided to help - or at least watch the rest struggle putting this puzzle of wood together.

"Courf, do you have a really small screwdriver?" Feuilly asked, he had taken over the majority of the wardrobe building.

"Yeah, there should be something like that in the closet, the one next to the bathroom." Courfeyrac answered.

Feuilly walked out of the room and Courfeyrac realized his mistake. He jumped up, eyes wide as they locked with Grantaire's who's were just as panicked. They raced out of the room and put themselves between the closet and Feuilly who had had his hand on the door handle.

"Uh, what are you doing?" Feuilly asked, staring at them as if they had grown several extra heads.

By this point the rest of their friends had joined them in the hallway which was now really cramped.

"Nothing! We'll get the screwdriver. You can all just go back through." Grantaire plastered a smile on his face that made him look all the more crazier.

"What are you hiding?" Cosette questioned.

"I know what a screwdriver looks like, I can get it myself." Feuilly said.

"What's in there?" Enjolras asked.

"We're not hiding anything, really." Courfeyrac said.

"Open it then." Joly said. This was followed by the rest murmuring their assent.

"No! We can't!" Courfeyrac shrieked. Grantaire caught his eyes in a keep your cool man or they won't leave it alone.

"Yeah, uh, we've never been able to open this door, it's stuck or something." Grantaire tried knowing no one would believe him.

Bahorel pushed his way to the front of the group. "Let me try then." He didn't look like he was going to back down and really it was just easier to let him open the door.  


Grantaire and Courfeyrac looked at each other, nodded, and moved away.  


Bahorel pulled on the handle which opened with no trouble. He peered in and gasped pulling the door open further. Everyone crowded around staring into the closet, a few sighed some gasped and Marius looked horrified.

They all slowly turned to look at Courfeyrac and Grantaire who were staring at the floor, avoiding everyone's eyes.

"You're the toilet roll thieves." Eponine said.

"See, Combeferre, I told you we always seemed to buy more than we used." Enjolras said.

"We're sorry." Grantaire mumbled. "We're also just going to go." Courfeyrac and Grantaire bolted for their front door and left, leaving their apartment filled with toilet roll victims.

Yes, it was pathetic and immature to leave, but really, they would deal with this later when the embarrassment of being caught had faded.

It's not like they didn't know what was coming. An intervention. Just as they had had for Bossuet when he would play 'Parkour' and injure himself every time, when and Jehan addressing everyone with 'Yo', or when Enjolras had insisted to wear his read jacket, read top and red jeans together at least four times a week (it had really hurt the eyes).  


But for now, Grantaire and Courfeyrac went to the supermarket to buy a few hundred rolls of toilet roll for their friends.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure what happened here. It's pure crack. I'm sorry.


End file.
